The beginning of...the beginning...

So here I am. A new blog on the block is what I am told. You know what I say? Hot dogs are sinful. Like sinfully delicious. And I want one. In fact I want more than one. What about that automated hot dog-bringer tray on a zip-line? Wow. That would be awesome! Hot dogs anywhere in the house!...

Sorry.

So anyway, a new blog, and here's how it's gonna go. At least once per week (preferably more) I will post random thoughts, opinions, favorite videos, pictures, and all around random stuff, finished with a random despair poster. To start, I'm putting onto my new blog "comments from the peanut gallery" some descriptions that someone sent me from...(how ironic)...a peanuts bag.

To ensure freshness, arrogant scientists recommend storing nuts in abandoned tree stumps, the jowls of soft-toothed bears, or empty cassette cases. Ignore illegitimate science advice with today's Groupon: for $10, you get $25 worth of nuts, dried fruit, and more from Nutty Guys. Your order can be placed online or by phone and must be redeemed in one transaction. Shipping is not included with this deal.

You're Nuts

"Nuts" is a derogatory term for insanity and should not be used to describe a person who is actually suffering from a mental illness. Here's a look at some of the least-often diagnosed emotional disorders:

• Grand Canyon–related depression
• Maniac Mondays
• Inability to eat apple pie in the presence of Charlize Theron
• Algoraphobia (fear that Al Gore will come to your house and lick you)
• False belief that you are comedic actor Rip Taylor (only diagnosed once, incorrectly)

Be watching for more!

Wes