The Truths of Life

Thanks to Peter being the 3rd person to follow me, he chose the subject of humor. So I pondered this for a long time, because after all, I usually try to make my posts at least fairly entertaining. So a couple of days ago, I was eating a chimi-changa for my lunch, when suddenly came a wave of (ahem) bowel discomfort. Stupid mexican food. So off to el baño went I, with much discomfort. Relief soon came like a massive tidal wave, after which I started thinking. (FYI to those who aren't my family, sitting on the toilet is one of two places where I get most of my brilliant ideas.) Anyway, as I flushed away that mexican stomach chaos,  I thought one of my brilliant thoughts just then. "Why does everyone HAVE to be so quiet in a library?" says I. "Me," I says to myself, "this could be the start of something really good." So maybe that mexican gastric content helped after all! Who woulda known....

So anyway, I thought to myself "self, why don't I think of a bunch of other truths of life, carve them on a big statue, and put them in the middle of chicago!" But then my lazy side kicked in, and decided to underachieve by putting them on my blog. So here goes.

1. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
2. Indecision is the key to flexibility.
3. No matter how hard you try, you can never predict when the toaster will pop, and it will scare you (or at least me) every time.
4. Jonny Depp is about as old as all the other actors his age.
5. Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.
6. Approximately one-seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
7. How can a life without a just, righteous and loving God ever have any meaning? If a person does not believe in God, then life has no meaning. You are born, you grow up, if you are lucky, then you become famous, you get old, and you die. Nothing more. Big whoop. But when you have Christ in your life, not only does he make it challenging and ever interesting, He gives life meaning and purpose. What stems from that is true happiness. The key to true happiness is found when we sacrifice our wants and desires for something greater in life. And in order to get that something greater, we must give up what we treasure the most. That is the key to true happiness, and true happiness can only be found in God. Salvation is God's marriage proposal to the soul.
8. Money cannot buy happiness, but it will make misery easier to live with
9. 9 of 10 people suffer from diarrhea. The truth is, the tenth guy enjoys it.
10. Supplemental poker rule: Colt 45 magnum beats ace of spades.
11. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. 
12. Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
13. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
14. Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
15. Morality is not defined by individual choice.
16. No matter how hard I try, I can not figure out which way the train went by looking at the tracks.
17. Eschew obfuscation, and everything will be simpler.


Cheers
Wes